Its 5 AM and I can’t fall asleep. I feel this intangible urge for action, to change the course of my life. A few moments ago I went upstairs and felt the cold early morning breeze. It was so refreshing that I felt I could just get lost in the sensation. Alas! These are the things life is meant for- to wake up early and see the rising sun, to feel the gush of fresh air on your face, to breath in it. To look at the stars at night, to see the moon changing phases, to drift in thoughts while doing the same. But No! We don’t have time for this. Where does our time go? I don’t know.
“Abhi chand lamho pehle mujhe kafee shayerana khyal aa rahe the. Halanki mere pass hindi ya urdu mein apane khayalo ko vyakt karne ke liye humesha shabdo ki kami pad jati hai, par is samay mein is bhasha mein kuch kahna chahta hoon, kuch naya rachna chahta hoon
Ek uljhi hui si baat hai is dil mein jo shabdo mein vyakt kar nahee sakta
EK paheli hai , kuch zazbaat hai jinhi lafzo mein bayan kar nahee sakta
Woh kya hai? Unka kya irada hai ? iska mujhe pata nahee
Par woh zaroori hai, aur pak saaf hai is baat ka hai mujhe yakeen
Insaan ek vichitra praani hai, kyunki woh soch sakta hai,
Aur yeh ek soch hi to hai ki mein aur tum vichitra hai?
Socho agar hum soch na sakte, to kya yeh duniya hoti?
Agar sona humari Nazar mein bemulya hota to uski kya koi keemat hoti?
Humare khayal, humari soch , yahee humara astitva hai
To kyun na inhe sawara jaye?
Kyun na kuch neki ki jaye, kyun na khud se sach kaha jaye
Kyun na khud ko pehchana jaye?
Hum bhaag rahe hai, duniya se, zimmedariyo se, Hum bhaag rahe se khud se
Hume khauf hai , is samaaj ka , uske usoolo ka Hume khauf hai khud ka
Kya hoon mein? Kya ho tum? Sirf ek parchayee ho!
Apne bune hue khayalo ki, usuulo ki, paimano ki.
Kyun tum khud se darte ho? Jo dil chahta hai woh nahee karte ho?
Kyun tumhara zameer tumhe jhanjhoorta hai, kyun khud ka saamna karne se mukarte ho?
Khud ko pehchano, apne sapno ko jaano, Apni raah banao aur doosro ko rah dikhao
Yeh bhi to ek khayal hai, Kya yeh mein hoon? ya fir yeh ek lamha hai aur us paar fir wahi duniya hai.”
I have no clue what I just wrote; it was a passing emotion, a fleeting feeling. It took me 20 minutes, in your world.
I am grateful to god that we can think, for that is how we can get lost, we can get found. I think back then I found myself by completely loosing myself. It was like I was sinking within myself and remerging having bathed in my true self, Is this how one feels when he gets Enlightened? If yes, then no wonder the legends of past went great lengths in search of it, I think I might too, Someday.